We need to share..! 

I was talking on phone to my younger cousin brother today. We discussed so many things from cricket to social media activities..from cultivating good habits to setting goals. 

We also remembered our childhood, our days of pure innocence! 

And then suddenly, we both switched to quiet mode. We were silent, trying to collect..control our emotions. 

We said, hum kitne badey ho gaye naa.. (we grew up fast!)

Life kitni change ho jaati hai.. Jaldi jaldi (Life changes with the speed of light.) 

And I could not forget the last lines he said, before keeping the phone. He said, whenever I come to hometown, whenever I cross the platform no. 1 of the railway, I remember you.. I remember the last time we were standing together… during your shaadi ki vidaayi !

Listening to his words, I realized that you don’t have any idea how people miss (remember)  you! 

I realized that we should take out time to talk to people in person. 

We should take out time to appreciate their presence in our lives. 

We need to drop off grudges and create an environment of love & healthy communication with people around us. 

We should try to make others comfortable and happy in your presence. 

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Aww..esome moment

That moment when people (some one) remember you, recognize you, identify you (not because of your external beauty) because of the impact/inner shift you have created in them through your conversation /inner qualities/attitude.

One such moment recently happened with me..and all I could do was to humbly bow down to the existence!

Let the message be clear 

It takes guts to say –

I don’t know. 

I haven’t heard this before. 

I am not comfortable in this environment. 

I appreciate the good qualities in you. 

I am still learning, I am not the master. 

I need your support. 

I am not shopaholic.

The list goes on and on.. 

Guts I said, because, many of us don’t speak up with clear message (and waste time in giving hints) with the fear of being ‘judged’! 

The point I intend to make here is when we tell- how we feel about something while conversing (on any issue) with someone, it makes the life of the next person simpler. S/he knows about what’s going inside your mind! 

Keeping the word ‘assumption/assume’out of the dictionary for healthy relationships is an essential habit to cultivate. 

Touching moment

Today, I had an appointment with the doctor. I didn’t found any auto near by, so I started walking down the bridge. After taking couple of steps, I turned behind to see ki auto aa to nahi raha !

And then I saw an auto coming my way, andar teen ladies baithi thi..par ye dekhte huae bhi maine himmat nahi haari aur auto ko rokne ke liye haath dikhaya..auto chaalak ne mujhe dekh liya tha…par ruka nahi..usmein baithi ek aunty (65 ke aaspaaas age hogi) ne auto se jhaak kar mujhe dekha..main tab bhi haath hila rahi thi auto rokne ko. Aunty ne auto rokne ko kaha, ye dekhkar main daud laga kar auto ke taraf bhaagi. Aur jaise hee baithne ko hui to dekha vo aunty auto ke piche jo samaan rakhne ki jagah hoti hai vahaan chadhkar baith gayi thi…maine kaha aunty aap peeche kyu..meri baat ko kaat kar unhone kahaa – ‘baith jaao seat pe..main theek hu..!’

Kuch hee minutes mein..Bridge utarkar ..left side par hospital aa chuka tha, auto ruka..main soch rahi thi kitne paise dungi…utne mein hee auto chaalak ne kaha ..rehne dijiye ! Peeche baithi aunty ne aashirwaad mein haath uthaaye aur kaha koi nahi beti..!

Main sneh ke in palo ko yaadon ke sunahre pannon mein samet aage badh di! 

Sach muuch Sneh, Prem, bado ka aashirwaad aur dulaar : amulya hai!

Getting in the vicinity of simplification

Around fifteen days before, I received a call from a lady stating that she wanted to illustrate the cashback benefits of credit card to me. She asked me for the time, and I said, I’ll be available by the end of Dec, 2016. (pre-assuming that she understands the sign that I am uninterested and won’t call back again 😉 ) 

After 15 days after she called me back!

And I patiently started listening to her offers on cashback over the shopping one does per month (provided, one couriers all my shopping bills to her)! She asked me to send an IVR for confirmation of this scheme. And before I could say ‘Yes or No’ – I asked her to give me one day time to think. (again, trying to give her indications that I am not interested!) 

After 24 hours, she called me back!  

I ignored the phone. (because somewhere I was hesitant to say NO to her!) 

After few minutes, she called me again! 

And this time I received her call, with the mindset that I will explain her why I don’t need this scheme! I tried my best to explain her -‘that see I am not a shopaholic and my monthly expenses are very low, I stay in hostel, I eat in mess, I only spend in paying institution fee, buying some fruits, recharging my phone, buying clothes once in 4-5 months, ‘, however, she also presented me hundreds of reasons why I should take this scheme! 

Seeing that the conversation is not making sense anymore, I immediately took the straight route. I told her that, ‘I am thankful to you for telling me countless benefits of the scheme , however, at this point of time this is not in my priority!’ 

And the conversation ended gracefully, thanking each other  for the time. 

Many times, we take the indirect route.A route where we pre-assume that the other person can understand our choices, lifestyle, habits, love, care, avoidance or preferences by just some indirect hints/signals. And this complicates the whole life and wastes time & energy also (not only ours, but of others also!) .

I learned that one doesn’t needs to be rude to say NO, it can be delivered politely. I learned that one doesn’t have to avoid or block the numbers to get rid of some situations, it can be handled by taking care of current priorities! 

And this is how we can simplify things in every domain of our life (prioritizing them as they arrive), handling one by one. While working on simplification, we are actually silently going away from complexity!  Focus matters!

2016 Reflections

2016 gave me opportunities to grow in both personal and professional dimensions.

During the 12 months journey – I invested time on things which helped me to push my comfort zone. 

Personal zone :

  • Invested early morning hours on physical fitness and silence.
  • Wrote thoughts, quotes, to-do list, to-be list, happy moments, gratitude prayer and things which bothered me in my journal.
  • Traveled and explored new places.
  • Silently and gracefully removed myself from the lives of people who weren’t good for my mental health.
  • Cultivated the attitude of gratitude/thankfulness towards life. No matter what turned up, I deeply thanked existence for it!
  • Associated and met people who are far better than me. Never ever thought I will meet the creator of the wordpress theme (I am currently using on this blog) at his location. Thanks Raam.
  • Learned to (mostly) avoid and ignore things which are rubbish for healthy and happy life.
  • Loved, appreciated and brought smiles (sometimes unending laughter) on the faces of people who are part of my inner circle.
  • Death took away some near ones. It’s very difficult, it’s painful to even think that the person with whom we shared our journey will never come back! I could only pray and thank them for all their contribution in making my life better. 

    In professional (academic) area

    • Attended 2 International conference. 
    • Wrote and edited one full research paper (6 pages) by myself.
    • Co-authored and submitted two more research articles.

    In all, 2016 taught me to be :

     More patient,

    Deeply thankful,

    and 

    Walk one step at a time!