How Facebook and Watsapp reformed relations of an introvert family

Mine is an introvert family, where we don’t say ‘love you’  or ‘take good care’ or ‘good morning’ or ‘good night’  to each other. It’s not that we don’t feel the love or care, it’s just that we hesitate to transfer those feelings through words.Though, I’ve slowly learned the significance of words in cultivating a beautiful relationship, I’ve been hesitant to express my love towards them! And they too were shy! 😀 

This is very normal in a middle class Indian family. 

I remember, my father usually express his love and care by gently stroking the back of my head. My mother showcase love through her concerns towards me. Younger brother expresses his love in the form of orders and safety directions.;) However, from the last 6 months, I’ve witnessed a strong change in the way we understand and transfer our inner feelings towards each other. 

We have become more creative in crafting our feelings towards each other through Facebook video chat (as I stay away for my study) and Watsapp messages. We have opened up. A sense of comfort has aroused while sharing our beliefs, dreams, fears, pain and plans. 

Through Facebook, we came to knew about each others talents and inclinations. Like, I knew that my mother writes well in Hindi, brother loves music composition and father likes to discuss on social and political issues. Also, my family understood that I love nature and photography. They also noticed the witty side of me.In addition, we never wished birthdays in the mid of the night. Parents used to take us to the temple early morning, during any special occasions. However, this time, my brother sent me a self -created poem highlighting my potential, and how this has inspired him! 

The good thing this social media has done to our family is : We’ve left our hesitation to speak up. Now, we speak. We don’t keep things within. If we think that we can’t talk, we write it. If we think we should talk on it, we discuss it. Overall, we have become expressive. Parents have been quick to adopt and learn this new technology. My mother even updates her status on watsapp, about how her feelings or on things which are going through her mind! 

Though I’ve cursed FB (earlier), [Now I don’t, this is not the first time I’ve contradict myself, it’s an ongoing process and that’s the beauty of evolving into something new], however, I feel thankful to  social media platforms which promotes self-expression.  

Advertisements

Ventilation in the room of relationships

How well we get coloured by the flaws of other being without uttering ouchh – decides the quality of our bonding and relationship with the other.

Flaws come along with awesomeness. And what we acknowledge more shapes our connection.

If something hurts/ disappoints us about the other, let’s not make it a mental screen saver and keep it playing  for months and years ; instead, take a pause to reflect onto series of good things & enormous care s/he has done for you.

I’ve learned that difficult conversation simplifies relationships [any relations, not.just romantic ones]. Creating a space and environment to set up discussion on things which sounds uncomfortable builds pathway for heart-centric approach towards life. [Being true to inner self].

I’ve also learned that communication is like a proper ventilation in the room of relations.

Communicate from the core of the heart, never ever presume that ‘they’ will understand. Never ever hesitate to share how you feel. If you feel shy to say, write it down and post it or drop a mail.

Express yourself. Practice, rehearse and speak up creatively as if you are kissing a dew drop meditating on a rose petal.

Death in the family

Today, my grandfather died.

I received this news from my mother early in the morning. When my mother said that he  is no more – my heart started beating fast. I felt the heaviness, as if some one has dropped a heavy piece of iron on my chest!

The suffocation in  chest, the throbbing of heart, the inner anxiety and the rolling of tears : they were different. Though I’m miles away from my home, I could still feel that a part of my breathe is been seperated.

I’m resting in the chair, remembering all the great memories and qualities of him.And also, sending all my love, strength and peace to everyone in the family!

Their love is different!

There were (are) moments (atleast once) when we considered Parents as our biggest enemies!

And then there are moments (many more) when we feel so much humbled, grateful, blessed and proud to have such a caring, supportive and loving Parents!

Their love is different.

We can see the love of our friends, boy/girl friend, brothers, sisters, relatives. It’s all in their eyes.But it takes moments of silence, contemplation and above all the attitude of thankfulness to feel our ‘Parents’ deep love! Because their love is not often the love of ‘words’ (atleast in middle class Indian families), their love is wrapped in little actions,blessings and prayers!

I am so much thankful to realize and feel their ‘love’ and to be able to share some part of my ordinary lovingness with them!