The most destructive ‘I’ & the stepping back with a constructive ‘Pause’

Well, ‘I’ can be very destructive. I realized this while coming across people who behaved completely opposite of my hidden expectations from them. It made me very upset. It made me think ‘Why me?’ This I is so destructive, that it always wants people to behave as per our convenience. And when something surprisingly opposite happens, it enforces us to feel heartbroken. 

Very recently, one such incident took with me.In seconds of time, the hurricane of ‘expectations broken’ type of highly judgmental thoughts filled my mind. I kept noticing the waves of thoughts rising within me. In the meanwhile, I went to take bath.  I ate my breakfast then and I listened to music too. After doing these three activities, everything evaporated. The fog of stupid thoughts was gone in the quiet light of ‘pause’

I understood the magnificence and power of a pause. 

Taking a pause brings the clarity that – we are not our thoughts! And Life is much more than accumulating the baggage of others! 

Hurt-notice-heal

Whenever the well of expectation is destroyed by others, we are hurt.

And when we itself destroy our self created well, we are healed.

The intensity and frequency of hurt is proportionate to the depth and no. of wells !

When we notice and become aware of these deep rooted seeds of expectations and fancy assumptions, it gets simpler to let go and get rid of them.

I am not the creator of outcomes

There are moments while working on some project or preparing for some exam or practising certain skill – my mind escapes into speculative and predictive mode!

My mind starts broadcasting fancy outcomes, which sound pleasurable to the ears.

And what happens during this ‘minding the mind’ activity is – my whole system gets carried away by the thoughts of  ‘imagined outcomes’ resulting shifting of focus from ‘karma’  to results.

The Way

Now a days when I receive such enticing signals from my mental system I step back to practice heavy, deep breathing. And then open my journal to write (ten times) as a reminder that –

“I am not the creator of the outcomes, all I can do is offer my full attention, focus, creativity and love to the task at hand.”

This slows down all the overwhelming. And gets me back to the mode of ‘mastering the task’