For a happy, focused and meaningful life

Notes : By Nithya Shanti

​To live a happy, focused and meaningful life we have to learn to say “No” a lot, and also identify our “Yes”. 

We need to learn to say “No” in graceful and authentic ways when other people’s invitations, expectations and need for support is not in alignment with our own highest values and priorities. It is okay. No one needs to take care of everyone. They are also wise and capable in their own ways. They will figure it out. We can do our best to be there for others, and also have a healthy sense of where we no longer want to spend our time, energy and resources. 
This will only happen if we are connected to our “Yes!”. Which means a degree of clarity about what expands us, energizes us, is interesting, engaging and fulfilling to us. This usually requires diverse life experiences and a capacity for reflection. We need to consider what we love to do (passions), what we are good at and want to be great at (skills), what enhances the happiness and wellbeing of others (contribution), and what of-course also pays the bills (livelihood). Taken together these four aspects are called “Ikigai” by the Japanese. It means our reason for being. 
“It’s easy to say no when there is a deeper yes burning inside”, said Steven Covey. Honoring our yes requires saying a lot of no’s (a lot!). Else we become automatons trying to satisfy the arbitrary wishes of everyone around us hoping they will love, accept and appreciate us – only to get disappointed again and again.

Aww..esome moment

That moment when people (some one) remember you, recognize you, identify you (not because of your external beauty) because of the impact/inner shift you have created in them through your conversation /inner qualities/attitude.

One such moment recently happened with me..and all I could do was to humbly bow down to the existence!

3 Simple advice to my 17 year old self

If I have to give 3 simple advice to my younger 17 year old self, it would be the following : 

Tell the Universe

Write as descriptively as possible to what you want/what you want to experience/ what you want to do/ how you want to live/where you want to go/ to whom you want to associate etc. Don’t be lazy in describing your deepest desires on a sheet of paper. Tell the universe as elaborately as possible about your thoughts. Words are extremely powerful, be fearless, honest and open in transferring your inner feelings onto paper. 

Be Grateful 

Be grateful for the –

Sun shine, peace, parents, relatives, lessons, challenges, love, risks, comforts, luxuries, internet, water, clothes, friends, flowers, food, taste buds, music, gadgets, siblings, guidance, stars, nights, tears, laughter, life and death. Cultivate the attitude of gratitude for everything.

Take one step : Do it

Action is a crucial part of life. And our actions are regulated by our thought process. Remember Newton’s first law – A body in rest continues to be in rest, and, a body in motion continues to be in motion. Same applies to our habit of getting things done. 

Whenever mind says, No!! It’s a huge task, postpone it….get up immediately and take the smallest step (to break the state of rest!). For example, you planned to woke up at 5 am, however, you got up at 7 am (the mind will make you feel that you lost it! You could not get up at the scheduled time…you are failure…etc!). Break the loop immediately! How? Start your day with one small victory : make your bed!

Would like to know, what you would advice to your younger self !