Preference

Don’t make contacts, instead build an environment that they can’t forget you.

Prefer a gentle-affectionate human touch over making professional – mechanical contact!

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If there’s a sin, it’s this..

Well, I don’t believe in the philosophy of sin, however, if there’s is any such thing here it is :

‘To make other person believe that he/she deserves less’

This is equivalent to killing the greatness within a living being!

I have seen such sins being committed by teachers, professional trainers and elders – who make students/children feel that ‘they are not worth it, they don’t deserve’ in anger!

This can leave weak imprints on their mental dashboard, which might lower their self-esteem.

If you can’t encourage, atleast don’t discourage!

Let the message be clear 

It takes guts to say –

I don’t know. 

I haven’t heard this before. 

I am not comfortable in this environment. 

I appreciate the good qualities in you. 

I am still learning, I am not the master. 

I need your support. 

I am not shopaholic.

The list goes on and on.. 

Guts I said, because, many of us don’t speak up with clear message (and waste time in giving hints) with the fear of being ‘judged’! 

The point I intend to make here is when we tell- how we feel about something while conversing (on any issue) with someone, it makes the life of the next person simpler. S/he knows about what’s going inside your mind! 

Keeping the word ‘assumption/assume’out of the dictionary for healthy relationships is an essential habit to cultivate. 

Getting in the vicinity of simplification

Around fifteen days before, I received a call from a lady stating that she wanted to illustrate the cashback benefits of credit card to me. She asked me for the time, and I said, I’ll be available by the end of Dec, 2016. (pre-assuming that she understands the sign that I am uninterested and won’t call back again 😉 ) 

After 15 days after she called me back!

And I patiently started listening to her offers on cashback over the shopping one does per month (provided, one couriers all my shopping bills to her)! She asked me to send an IVR for confirmation of this scheme. And before I could say ‘Yes or No’ – I asked her to give me one day time to think. (again, trying to give her indications that I am not interested!) 

After 24 hours, she called me back!  

I ignored the phone. (because somewhere I was hesitant to say NO to her!) 

After few minutes, she called me again! 

And this time I received her call, with the mindset that I will explain her why I don’t need this scheme! I tried my best to explain her -‘that see I am not a shopaholic and my monthly expenses are very low, I stay in hostel, I eat in mess, I only spend in paying institution fee, buying some fruits, recharging my phone, buying clothes once in 4-5 months, ‘, however, she also presented me hundreds of reasons why I should take this scheme! 

Seeing that the conversation is not making sense anymore, I immediately took the straight route. I told her that, ‘I am thankful to you for telling me countless benefits of the scheme , however, at this point of time this is not in my priority!’ 

And the conversation ended gracefully, thanking each other  for the time. 

Many times, we take the indirect route.A route where we pre-assume that the other person can understand our choices, lifestyle, habits, love, care, avoidance or preferences by just some indirect hints/signals. And this complicates the whole life and wastes time & energy also (not only ours, but of others also!) .

I learned that one doesn’t needs to be rude to say NO, it can be delivered politely. I learned that one doesn’t have to avoid or block the numbers to get rid of some situations, it can be handled by taking care of current priorities! 

And this is how we can simplify things in every domain of our life (prioritizing them as they arrive), handling one by one. While working on simplification, we are actually silently going away from complexity!  Focus matters!

Stepping back from negative beginners

Today, I had a conversation with a colleague regarding procedure for Visa appointment  and booking tickets for attending some International conference.  

And, when I said that it’s better to go for Visa first and then book tickets later upon approval. 

The first thing she said, ‘will you not apply for Visa, even if it gets rejected? ‘

{O hello, I just wanted to discuss on the way one can approach. And you are deciding onto rejection! :D} 

And after listening to her words, I quietly stepped back from discussing anything further  with her.  

A positive push is very essential, and whenever I notice people around me uttering their very first sentence with a negative notion, I just step back. 

Birthday wishes?! 

A few hours before – 

some went to sleep deliberately. 

some were quarreling over per person monetary contribution for the gift. 

some were forcefully invited for decorating the room. 

some skipped the distasteful mess dinner. 

All  gathered together at 12 am. And happily ate… err.. sung  ‘Happy  vala birthday to dear friend’