Subtle Distinctions

​Note : By Nithya Shanti

Subtle Distinctions

I’ve noticed that making slight changes in the way we use common phrases can create a world of a difference in our perception and experience. Here are a few examples that come to mind…
1) This morning my friend Swatantra sent me a message “Thanks and make a great day”.  Instead of saying “have”, she said “make”. Can you sense how one is passive and hopeful while the other is active and intentional? I appreciated her lovely insight into this.
2) I found that sometimes more accurate than saying “I love you” is saying “I love us”. In a relationship, it is often the special interplay / exchange / field of possibilities that awakens between the two seemingly separate individuals that is most nourishing and enthralling. “I love us” means I love what both of us represent and bring to this relationship. I still say I love you, and sometimes I also like to say I love us. I love who I am in your presence and who you are and who we are together.  

3) Instead of appreciating others saying “What I have seen in you is…”, which is based on what we have observed in the past, we can say, “What I see / sense in you is…”, which means looking past their superficial persona into underlying gifts, qualities and potentials. The very act of seeing and saying this activates untapped possibilities. It magnifies appreciation to a whole new level. What we see in others we evoke in others. 

4) Sometimes people tell me that I look like Farhan Akhtar – a Bollywood star. I playfully correct them that he looks like me 😉. This is mostly in jest, but it is also a subtle and important distinction. To tell someone they look like a famous person is to put that distant person on a pedestal. To tell someone that a famous person looks like them is to acknowledge the person actually in front of you. 
5) When people ask me about my followers or even refer to themselves as my followers, I gently say “you mean my friends”. Followers follow. It’s a pretty one way relationship. Saying “Friends” sets up a more equal and dynamic relationship where each ones skills, abilities and calling gets acknowledged without automatically assuming one is better / wiser than others. 
I could go on. For now this seems adequate. The main point I suppose I am making here is that we can become increasingly sensitive to the implications of what we say, how we say it, and the kind of experience and frequency it generates. 
You are of-course welcome to share examples of subtle distinctions you can think of in the comments below.

Eye opening thought

​Notes : Message received on watsapp

Simply outstanding thought!!! 

Do read it  !!
1. Name the 5 wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last 5 winners of the  Miss  Universe.
3. Name the last 10 people who won the Nobel Prize for Physics. 
How did you do?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

The point is, none of us remembers the headlines of yesterday !!
Even though these people must be the best in their fields !!
Applause dies !!
Awards are tarnished and 

achievements

are forgotten …..!!
Here’s another quiz:
Let’s see how this goes: 
1. Name 5 Teachers who added your journey through school.
2. Name 5 friends who helped you through  difficult times.
3. Name 5 people who taught you something worthwhile.
4. Name 5 people who make you feel special.
5. Name 5 People you enjoy spending time with.

.

.

.

.

.
Easier…..right?
The people who make a difference in your life are NOT the ones with prestigeous awards and loads of money !!
Life is full of ordinary people who have made the world a better place for you !!
Cherish them !!
Hold Them Tight !!
Perhaps sometimes it’s ‘Special’ to be ‘Ordinary’ !!!

Cleaning up energies

Notes : Nithya Shanti

If things are feeling heavy and stuck then try something different for a change:

Instead of trying to clean up your life, your finances, your relationships, your home and your whole world…

Clean up your energetics, your frequency, your attention, your intention, your attitude, your gratitude, your focus, your devotion, your calling, your primary overarching priority.

Then notice how life, finances, relationships, home and world all start to beautifully realign themselves to this new harmonic.

Our outer arrangements mirror our inner clarity and vice-versa. Start somewhere. Start anywhere. You already know how. But thinking won’t get you there. Starting will get you everywhere.

Now. 
Just. 
Start.

For a happy, focused and meaningful life

Notes : By Nithya Shanti

​To live a happy, focused and meaningful life we have to learn to say “No” a lot, and also identify our “Yes”. 

We need to learn to say “No” in graceful and authentic ways when other people’s invitations, expectations and need for support is not in alignment with our own highest values and priorities. It is okay. No one needs to take care of everyone. They are also wise and capable in their own ways. They will figure it out. We can do our best to be there for others, and also have a healthy sense of where we no longer want to spend our time, energy and resources. 
This will only happen if we are connected to our “Yes!”. Which means a degree of clarity about what expands us, energizes us, is interesting, engaging and fulfilling to us. This usually requires diverse life experiences and a capacity for reflection. We need to consider what we love to do (passions), what we are good at and want to be great at (skills), what enhances the happiness and wellbeing of others (contribution), and what of-course also pays the bills (livelihood). Taken together these four aspects are called “Ikigai” by the Japanese. It means our reason for being. 
“It’s easy to say no when there is a deeper yes burning inside”, said Steven Covey. Honoring our yes requires saying a lot of no’s (a lot!). Else we become automatons trying to satisfy the arbitrary wishes of everyone around us hoping they will love, accept and appreciate us – only to get disappointed again and again.

8 Things Guys Secretly Love

Reading Notes :  8 Things Guys Secretly Love , Author : James Sama

1. Laying your head on his chest.
Men enjoy feeling as though we are being protective. By laying your head on his chest, this signifies that you feel safe in his arms.

2. When you text him first.
There’s a lot of pressure on guys to be the conversation initiator. However, sometimes he might not know if he’s being too pushy or texting you too much.

Guys like to feel attention too! So sending him a quick text will let him know that you’re thinking about him. It’s going to brighten his day and spark a good conversation.

3. When you tell him that you appreciate him.
Although a man should be able to read your feelings from your actions, some guys need a more direct approach. So, tell him how much you value his effort in the relationship.

4. Play with his hair while he’s driving.
I didn’t realize how great this was until a woman I was dating did it to me one day. Reach over and lightly scratch the back of his head. It’s guaranteed to make him smile. But of course, don’t distract him too much while he’s driving

5. Brag about them in public.
If he does something special, like an impromptu dinner he arranged for the two of you, then snap a photo of the tablescape and share it. It’s going to show him that you appreciate him and are willing to share your appreciation with the world.

Now, some people can go overboard with this so be humbly appreciative and respectful of others.

6. Really,really listen.
Women know better than anyone, that really listening isn’t just a passive activity. When you sit down together, keep his eye contact, and genuinely engaged in the conversation. It effectively shows how much you care.

7. Text him when you’re out with your friends.
This is, of course, assuming that you have a guy who is mature enough to understand your need to go out with your friends. So when you are out, text him now and then just saying hello. It’ll make him smile and let him know that you’re thinking about him even when he’s not around.

8. Be affectionate.
You don’t have to jump all over him in public, but small things like taking his hand while you’re walking make a big difference. You can also hug him in line at the grocery store, hook your arm into his when you’re walking down the street, or give him a peck on the cheek while waiting for the movie to start.

Little things go a long way, and paying a little extra attention to how much you value him is going to make the guy in your life feel extra special.

How to increase the ‘love hormone’ in your body

Oxytocin is a hormone produced primarily in the hypothalamus and acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. It plays a huge role in the female reproduction system during child birth and with lactation. But, the hormone is best known as the “love hormone” because of how it increases with touch and stimulation. This powerful hormone plays a huge role in relationships and how we partner up with others.

HERE ARE WAYS TO INCREASE OXYTOCIN LEVELS IN YOUR BODY:

1. PHYSICAL TOUCH.
Hugs, kisses, and cuddling increase oxytocin levels quickly. As per WebMd a research on oxytocin and how men react to sex showed that under the influence of oxytocin, two areas of the brain responsible for feelings of reward and pleasure lit up when men saw their partner’s faces. But the sight of other women had the opposite effect, suppressing feelings of pleasure. Oxytocin triggers a reward system that activates and releases when we are in loving relationships. Physical touch is stimulating. Oxytocin is released when you have an orgasm and for men it is only released when it is with someone they love.

2. WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT.
When we hear a compliment we feel good about ourselves. We believe we are being loved and held in high esteem. Oxytocin works on this level as well. The “feel good” hormone increases when we are caring and compassionate with another, or vice versa. Words have a powerful frequency. When we feel loved and we relate to it oxytocin increases. The same goes to giving a compliment to another. The kindness you put out into the world also increases oxytocin.

3. LISTEN.
Everyone wants to feel acknowledged. We all want to know that we are being heard and accepted. Listening is an amazing way to increase oxytocin. When you are present with another you can feel the connection. Listen attentively. Put the phone down. Close the computer. Make time to be one-on-one with another. You will find a sense of reward that is priceless. Also, listening to music or something we enjoy releases dosages of the little hormone as well.

4. SMILE AND LAUGH.
Have you observed how kids play? They smile and laugh a lot. Whenever they are in that moment, they are releasing oxytocin. Smiling is contagious. It’s one of those things that you cannot help but return to another when it is geared at you. Research has shown that laughter and smiling improve health through many physiological changes. Most of the time it happens unconsciously. Happy people live for joyous moments. Their oxytocin is constantly being released. Laughter creates a sense of joy that is the biggest trade off in life.

5. MEDITATE AND PRAY.
When you are clear-headed and relaxed your hormones are balance. Oxytocin increases when you are not under the fight or flight mode. Prayer and meditation allow the mind to detach from stress. It lowers blood pressure and allows the body to feel balanced. Mind, body and spirit find a way to connect. Make time for it at some point in the day. You can do it for five minutes anywhere.

6. EXERCISE.
Endorphins and oxytocin increase when we exercise. Oxygen travels to the brain and to other parts of our bodies. Exercise is not just for keeping your body in tact and functioning properly. The amount of hormones released to the brain are also beneficial. You don’t have to go to a gym. Walking around the block or doing gentle yoga can bring on these benefits as well.

7. CRY.
Studies have shown that suppressing your emotions lowers oxytocin levels. Withholding your feelings and not dealing with them causes stress and other physical issues in the body. Your emotional state should be imbalanced with your spiritual and physical bodies. The release of tears allows the body to return to a state of calmness as oppose to holding on to anger or frustration.

8. GIVE.
We feel good when we give, volunteer and do for others. Give gifts, give your time, give to charity and give thanks. Gratitude is a huge factor on how we feel. Give of yourself and watch how great you will feel. Oxytocin produces the feeling of bonding with others. Giving is a form of human bonding. This is a natural and easy way to increase your oxytocin while helping another.

9. GET CREATIVE.
Creativity helps de-stress the mental mind. While you are creating you aren’t worrying or fearing anything. As you paint, draw, sew, journal, write, play an instrument, or anything that takes you out of a normal routine, you are allowing the good hormones to take over in the brain. Endorphins are released and oxytocin is charged up. Making time to use your talents is imperative to inducing joy.

Source : Power of Positivity

 

A Short Guide to a Happy Life: Anna Quindlen on Work, Joy, and How to Live Rather Than Exist

Sharing with you something which touched my heart! 

Quindlen begins:

I’ve never earned a doctorate, or even a master’s degree. I’m not an ethicist, or a philosopher, or an expert in any particular field… I can’t talk about the economy, or the universe, or academe, as academicians like to call where they work when they’re feeling kind of grand. I’m a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is really all I know.

Life & Work

Don’t ever confuse the two, your life and your work. That’s what I have to say. The second is only a part of the first. Don’t ever forget what a friend once wrote to Senator Paul Tsongas when the senator had decided not to run for reelection because he’d been diagnosed with cancer: “No man ever said on his deathbed I wish I had spent more time at the office.”

Don’t ever forget the words on a postcard that my father sent me last year: “If you win the rat race, you’re still a rat.”

There are thousands of people out there with the same degree you have; when you get a job, there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you are the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on the bus, or in the car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account, but your soul.

On Life, People and Love :

Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze over the dunes, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over a pond and a stand of pines. Get a life in which you pay attention to the baby as she scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a Cheerio with her thumb and first finger.

Turn off your cell phone. Turn off your regular phone, for that matter. Keep still. Be present.

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work.

It’s ironic that we forget so often how wonderful life really is. We have more time than ever before to remember it. The men and women of generations past had to work long, long hours to support lots and lots of children in tiny, tiny houses. The women worked in factories and sweatshops and then at home, too, with two bosses, the one who paid them, and the one they were married to, who didn’t. . . . Our jobs take too much out of us and don’t pay enough.

She continues:

Life is made up of moments, small pieces of glittering mica in a long stretch of gray cement. It would be wonderful if they came to us unsummoned, but particularly in lives as busy as the ones most of us lead now, that won’t happen. We have to teach ourselves how to make room for them, to love them, and to live, really live.

This is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get.

Source : Story Pick