We (he & me) have started with a new habit of creating story together.
Bed time stories!
We toss a coin, and the one who wins the toss begins the story. The rule of the play is one can speak/form a maximum of 2 sentences and then other has to continue from there, further adding 2 more sentences. And so on.
The beauty of this play is, it unchains us from the limited beliefs and encourages us to use all our imagination to give birth to our own story.
I would invite you to try out such creative plays with your partner.
Also, I am interested to know what games do you play with your partner?
Very recently, one of our colleague went to Canada for presenting her research work. And also, she got post-doc position there. Of all those who came to knew about this news (in the lab) had their own opinions. Most of them said, ‘this IS called LUCK’ while some were found to give all the credit to her Ph.D. superviser.
But no one thought about the pain, pressure and struggle she went through since last 5 years!
(No one remembered her dark times, when research guide allocated to her (when she joined in for PhD) left the institute after two years. She had to start all over again from zero. No one appreciated her patience, perseverance and willingness to continue with the research, even if she has to take support and guidance of faculties from other institutes!)
It’s seems convenient to point out at the easy road of luck, over accepting/appreciating the extra-miles taken by the person. Funny, isn’t it?
Notes : Written by Nithya Shanti
Keep saying “Thank you”.
When going through difficult times, keep saying “Thank you”.
When going through pleasant times, keep saying “Thank you”.
When going through uncertain times, keep saying “Thank you”.
When stuck, when frustrated, when alone, when sick, when in surgery, or the dentist’s chair, when criticised, when praised, admired, felicitated, adored, loved, just. keep. saying. “Thank you”.
Everything goes smoother. Everything gets easier. Everything bends and moves and shifts and adapts to support, accommodate, fulfill and propel you back to your own source.
You torment yourself when you forget to say “Thank you”.
You liberate yourself when you keep saying “Thank you”.
Thank you to who?
To life. To everything. To the source of everything. To you.
Keep saying “Thank you”. Keep feeling thankful. Be a living expression of thankfulness. A big lump of gratitude in human disguise.
Note : By Nithya Shanti
I’ve noticed that making slight changes in the way we use common phrases can create a world of a difference in our perception and experience. Here are a few examples that come to mind…
1) This morning my friend Swatantra sent me a message “Thanks and make a great day”. Instead of saying “have”, she said “make”. Can you sense how one is passive and hopeful while the other is active and intentional? I appreciated her lovely insight into this.
2) I found that sometimes more accurate than saying “I love you” is saying “I love us”. In a relationship, it is often the special interplay / exchange / field of possibilities that awakens between the two seemingly separate individuals that is most nourishing and enthralling. “I love us” means I love what both of us represent and bring to this relationship. I still say I love you, and sometimes I also like to say I love us. I love who I am in your presence and who you are and who we are together.
3) Instead of appreciating others saying “What I have seen in you is…”, which is based on what we have observed in the past, we can say, “What I see / sense in you is…”, which means looking past their superficial persona into underlying gifts, qualities and potentials. The very act of seeing and saying this activates untapped possibilities. It magnifies appreciation to a whole new level. What we see in others we evoke in others.
4) Sometimes people tell me that I look like Farhan Akhtar – a Bollywood star. I playfully correct them that he looks like me 😉. This is mostly in jest, but it is also a subtle and important distinction. To tell someone they look like a famous person is to put that distant person on a pedestal. To tell someone that a famous person looks like them is to acknowledge the person actually in front of you.
5) When people ask me about my followers or even refer to themselves as my followers, I gently say “you mean my friends”. Followers follow. It’s a pretty one way relationship. Saying “Friends” sets up a more equal and dynamic relationship where each ones skills, abilities and calling gets acknowledged without automatically assuming one is better / wiser than others.
I could go on. For now this seems adequate. The main point I suppose I am making here is that we can become increasingly sensitive to the implications of what we say, how we say it, and the kind of experience and frequency it generates.
You are of-course welcome to share examples of subtle distinctions you can think of in the comments below.