9 Characteristics Of Highly Desirable Women

Reading Notes

Source : Life Hack, Writer : Akash Gautam

The dictionaries define “Desirable” as “worth having or wanting; pleasant, excellent or fine.”

Any man or woman who has dreamed of a future has probably created an image of what he or she would desire most in their partner. And most women have probably wished to be more desirable at some point. While the world keeps hankering over what exactly are the characteristics of highly desirable women, the truth is that we can only speculate. The definition will keep evolving.

However, we can safely say that highly desirable women will likely have the following nine characteristics.

1. They don’t chase people
Highly desirable women would rather chase their own awesomeness, because they know running after people is just a waste of time. They also know that it is a much better idea to become better versions of their own selves. The world will take notice when they progress in their own lives.

They don’t have time for such chases because they are just too busy creating a better life for themselves. That’s what makes a woman more desirable — that carefree, confident attitude. They are complete in themselves.

2. They are in control of their emotions
You won’t find desirable women moping about every bad relationship or failure in their lives. Instead, they are always in control of their emotions. They don’t waste their time and energy in harboring useless emotions that won’t bring them progress.

Simply put, desirable women would much rather be a shoulder when needed than be a constant cry baby.

3. They avoid gossip
Desirable women would rather use their time productively than for indulging in petty gossip. Gossip and too much talking creates drama. Desirable women know this. Petty gossip, useless talking, and drama is for school girls — not the desirable women that we look up to.

4. They are not attention seekers
You will not see desirable women posting selfies constantly or changing their relationship statuses on social media with every crush. They don’t like to spam people with such trivialities. They would much rather be known and talked about for their real and meaningful achievements.

They believe in earning attention from like-minded people, not snatching it with constant updates on the happenings in their lives. They earn respect instead of asking for it. They believe in maintaining a mystery about their lives which only selected people can have access to.

5. They don’t lose themselves in their relationships
It’s not that they hold back. Desirable women don’t lose themselves to create happiness for someone else. They have a life of their own that goes beyond the relationship. They don’t cling to their boyfriends or girlfriends constantly.

They don’t lose sight of their goals and dreams for love. They don’t lose their identity. Desirable women make smart decisions about how much time they are willing to devote to their relationships and to their goals. They set their priorities. They let their relationships add to their lives — not become their whole lives.

6. They have hobbies and passions
Desirable women make massive efforts to become better at their hobbies and passions. You won’t find these women constantly procrastinating. They find out what they love doing and do it with finesse.

Desirable women don’t waste their lives with mindless addictions, like staring at their mobile phones all day. They use their time to take up hobbies and work on improving. Some of the most desirable women are the ones who care deeply about their hobbies. It defines them and makes them more interesting people.

7. They are fiercely intelligent
Intelligence does not always refer to IQ. Desirable women are fiercely intelligent in terms of their understanding of the world and its people. They have a certain kind of wisdom that comes from experience, from a plethora of mistakes and a life full of lessons.

They have impeccable understanding of life and themselves — something that really adds to their desirability. They are no strangers to deep conversation.

8. They are always graceful
Women who understand and take pride in their womenhood are the ones that know that grace and elegance are not qualities you compromise with. It’s not about their appearance but their aura. What makes them highly desirable is that they don’t worry about their physical shortcomings. They fix what they can and carry themselves with elegance and charm that only a lady can possess.

They dress well and know how to exude confidence. What makes this all the more easier is that desirable women know that grace does not come with expensive fashion choices. It comes with self confidence.

9. They are brilliant communicators
They have clarity of thought and it shows in the words they choose, no matter which language those words are in. The confidence that they exude can easily win over hearts. They are logical with the right mix of rationality and emotion. Desirable women don’t overdo it.

They will let you talk, make you feel wanted, hear you with compassion, and show genuineness in their interactions. They know how important it is to be a good communicator and they also know what it takes to be one.

These are some of the characteristics of highly desirable women. Of course, there are many other traits that can be deemed “desirable.” Nevertheless, these are a few characteristics that will always draw us in.

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The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

My Reading Notes

For more on it switch to The Good Man Project , Writer : Jed Diamond

So, what do men want more than sex?

We’ve all heard that women need to feel loved to have sex, but men need to have sex to feel loved. Let’s look more deeply at what it is exactly that men are getting when they get sex. Sure, there is the physical pleasure, but there is a deeper need that is being satisfied. I call it the need for a safe harbor.

“Always wanting sex” is part of the male persona we wear to show we’re manly. What we really want is a safe harbor where we can take refuge, relax, and be cared for. In other words, we want the feeling of being nurtured that most of us didn’t get enough of when we were children. But admitting these needs makes us feel like little boys, not big strong men. Better to be manly with our sexual desire and then once we’re inside her body, we can relax, be ourselves, and be infused with love. That’s the hidden desire we have when we have sex.

One of the things I love getting from my wife, Carlin, is to lay in her lap and have my scalp rubbed. This is one, wonderful, safe harbor. I don’t need to have sex in order to have this need satisfied. I just have to ask for it. Here, I’m being touched deeply, accepted completely. I don’t have to perform or prove myself. I just must be willing to be deeply vulnerable.

It takes a lot of time and maturity for men to admit to themselves that they need a safe harbor where they can be nurtured and embraced by a woman. It takes a lot of courage to let his woman know he may want sex, but more important is his need for security, love, and nurture. It requires a level of wisdom to know that allowing ourselves to be as vulnerable as a child may be the manliest thing a man can do.

How to increase the ‘love hormone’ in your body

Oxytocin is a hormone produced primarily in the hypothalamus and acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. It plays a huge role in the female reproduction system during child birth and with lactation. But, the hormone is best known as the “love hormone” because of how it increases with touch and stimulation. This powerful hormone plays a huge role in relationships and how we partner up with others.

HERE ARE WAYS TO INCREASE OXYTOCIN LEVELS IN YOUR BODY:

1. PHYSICAL TOUCH.
Hugs, kisses, and cuddling increase oxytocin levels quickly. As per WebMd a research on oxytocin and how men react to sex showed that under the influence of oxytocin, two areas of the brain responsible for feelings of reward and pleasure lit up when men saw their partner’s faces. But the sight of other women had the opposite effect, suppressing feelings of pleasure. Oxytocin triggers a reward system that activates and releases when we are in loving relationships. Physical touch is stimulating. Oxytocin is released when you have an orgasm and for men it is only released when it is with someone they love.

2. WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT.
When we hear a compliment we feel good about ourselves. We believe we are being loved and held in high esteem. Oxytocin works on this level as well. The “feel good” hormone increases when we are caring and compassionate with another, or vice versa. Words have a powerful frequency. When we feel loved and we relate to it oxytocin increases. The same goes to giving a compliment to another. The kindness you put out into the world also increases oxytocin.

3. LISTEN.
Everyone wants to feel acknowledged. We all want to know that we are being heard and accepted. Listening is an amazing way to increase oxytocin. When you are present with another you can feel the connection. Listen attentively. Put the phone down. Close the computer. Make time to be one-on-one with another. You will find a sense of reward that is priceless. Also, listening to music or something we enjoy releases dosages of the little hormone as well.

4. SMILE AND LAUGH.
Have you observed how kids play? They smile and laugh a lot. Whenever they are in that moment, they are releasing oxytocin. Smiling is contagious. It’s one of those things that you cannot help but return to another when it is geared at you. Research has shown that laughter and smiling improve health through many physiological changes. Most of the time it happens unconsciously. Happy people live for joyous moments. Their oxytocin is constantly being released. Laughter creates a sense of joy that is the biggest trade off in life.

5. MEDITATE AND PRAY.
When you are clear-headed and relaxed your hormones are balance. Oxytocin increases when you are not under the fight or flight mode. Prayer and meditation allow the mind to detach from stress. It lowers blood pressure and allows the body to feel balanced. Mind, body and spirit find a way to connect. Make time for it at some point in the day. You can do it for five minutes anywhere.

6. EXERCISE.
Endorphins and oxytocin increase when we exercise. Oxygen travels to the brain and to other parts of our bodies. Exercise is not just for keeping your body in tact and functioning properly. The amount of hormones released to the brain are also beneficial. You don’t have to go to a gym. Walking around the block or doing gentle yoga can bring on these benefits as well.

7. CRY.
Studies have shown that suppressing your emotions lowers oxytocin levels. Withholding your feelings and not dealing with them causes stress and other physical issues in the body. Your emotional state should be imbalanced with your spiritual and physical bodies. The release of tears allows the body to return to a state of calmness as oppose to holding on to anger or frustration.

8. GIVE.
We feel good when we give, volunteer and do for others. Give gifts, give your time, give to charity and give thanks. Gratitude is a huge factor on how we feel. Give of yourself and watch how great you will feel. Oxytocin produces the feeling of bonding with others. Giving is a form of human bonding. This is a natural and easy way to increase your oxytocin while helping another.

9. GET CREATIVE.
Creativity helps de-stress the mental mind. While you are creating you aren’t worrying or fearing anything. As you paint, draw, sew, journal, write, play an instrument, or anything that takes you out of a normal routine, you are allowing the good hormones to take over in the brain. Endorphins are released and oxytocin is charged up. Making time to use your talents is imperative to inducing joy.

Source : Power of Positivity

 

Let the message be clear 

It takes guts to say –

I don’t know. 

I haven’t heard this before. 

I am not comfortable in this environment. 

I appreciate the good qualities in you. 

I am still learning, I am not the master. 

I need your support. 

I am not shopaholic.

The list goes on and on.. 

Guts I said, because, many of us don’t speak up with clear message (and waste time in giving hints) with the fear of being ‘judged’! 

The point I intend to make here is when we tell- how we feel about something while conversing (on any issue) with someone, it makes the life of the next person simpler. S/he knows about what’s going inside your mind! 

Keeping the word ‘assumption/assume’out of the dictionary for healthy relationships is an essential habit to cultivate. 

Habits of people who have grown in their lives

Habits create difference. And there are some habits I have witnessed/experienced in those who have grown in their lives. 

Growth makes us geneuine. 

We learn to skip over exaggeration of things.

We hold onto the inner voice. 

We do things out of love & not for love. 

We build and strengthen our little circle of friends and family.

We work on ourselves and also help others to do their work of art. 

We don’t induldge into the good and bad, instead, we switch frquently to gratitude mode. 

We love formal dresses, however, stay far away from formalities.