Am I spending time with a poisonous pal?

I’ve a friend.


We started of really very well, from common ‘fitness goal’ to ‘healthy friendship’. We’ve been friends from almost 1.5 years, however, recently when she went for summer vacations for two months, I realized in her absence I’ve become more focused, disciplined, relaxed and creative in thinking and lifestyle. I noticed that I’ve become interactive with people around me and could potentially engage myself in other extra curricular activities.  

I felt AMAZING in my company and in the company of other colleagues and research mates. Spreading smiles, laughter and discussing constructive stuff. 

When she arrived, as she saw me..errr…traced me from top to bottom I felt hesitant about myself. She asked me, ‘What you did during these two months, your midsection looks so lean?’ (the voice and the facial expression didn’t gave me happy vibes!) I said, nothing, daily exercising! 

From the time of her arrival, she has endless stuff to talk on about her ex’s and trivial issues. I can’t share the joyful moments I had with other mates in her absence, because, she doesn’t likes and behaves possessive. I can’t share the solo traveling experience with her, as she will give rude expressions.

Earlier, I used to share all my dreams and goals with her, however, as I noticed that she is enveloped with competitive thoughts [who will be lean and fit first, who will finish research first etc] , I stopped sharing what’s in me.

It’s not that, suddenly, all such things are happening. They were there, but, I didn’t deeply experienced how it feels to be – unchained and to be in a company of happy, energetic and inspiring people. 

In in her company, I’m feeling confined, squeezed, clingy, stressed, exhaustive and UH-MAZING! 

I don’t know how to handle all this, should I end it straight or discuss with her? 


9 thoughts on “Am I spending time with a poisonous pal?

  1. I believe this world have all sort of creatures. You are good in your own sense, she might be good in her own traits.

    Accept the people and situation the way they are , just donot judge them. We will find every sort of people around us. Be can’t eliminate them.
    Just focus on your self and the world within you. When any thought arises with in you. Just observe it and be spectator, let it pass.

    Things are neither good nor bad so as people. If you judge them either good or bad then definitely you will be attached to either aversion or with pleasure. So just work more in the world within in You . Don’t try to control or judge any thing.

    Hope I am able to express myself in way it reaches to you in right sense.

    Hence I have seen you in your lots of older post that you have great insight about life so could not resist to respond.

    Be beyond body and mind , live in eternal bliss no matter what happening out side in this world it can’t effect you if you are centered and close to your real nature.

    Jealously , love are same energy manifested in different forms. Identify your self with your true nature and see others also with same identification.

    The only sin on this planet is ignorance about the self. Shine life enlightened.

    Knowledge is the key.

    Wishing you great time ahead.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Dear Nishthur,

      Thank you for your valuable inputs.

      I believe that circumference influences the center, similarly, our circle of friends has direct impact on our inner state. And I’m of the opinion that – drop that- which drags us down, however, wanted a suggestion on how to end this ? I mean ‘straight put an end’ or talk about it and then slowly lessen down!

      I agree with your remarks on being non judgmental and allowing people be what they are, however, this association is taking away my creative side 🙂 And for this, I’ve to take some step! I don’t want to mould her, however, I just want my creative peaceful space 🙂


      1. Thanks for understanding , i know you are beautiful and brave enough to face any sort of issues in life, with love and wisdom you have acquired so far,
        its been really rich experience talking to you filled my day with love and joy

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow and insightful post..better discuss with her first..tell her what you feel ..sometimes people are soo engrossed in themselves, they fail to notice others around them, involuntarily..maybe she can realise her mistakes and open up and a healthy friendship ensures,if not ..not ur prob!! say bye bye..👍🍬🍬🍬
    sorry if this seemed like unasked for advice..have been in such situations before so could relate to it..have a great weekend ahead..😊😊💞

    Liked by 2 people

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